


The Path to Acceptance

by VisualStain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Before she's out the story refers to her as she and with her name, Canon Trans Character, Character Study, Earth C (Homestuck), Homestuck Spoilers, I love June okay, Lots of thinking and crying, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23667490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisualStain/pseuds/VisualStain
Summary: The path to acceptance is a long one. June learned that the hard way.Based on the partly canon idea that god tiering changes a person into their ideal form. Vriska regrew her arm, June transitioned.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	The Path to Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like 3 hours because I love June and character studies. Enjoy.

When June first ascended she thought it was some sort of weird side effect. She didn’t notice at first, she was busy with the whole Jack thing. It wasn’t until after she died again that she noticed. Her face and body were softer, her eyelashes longer, and most importantly, her dick was missing. She freaked out but didn’t say anything to any of her friends. She would wait to see what happened when they ascended.

When they did, June noticed none of them seemed to have the same side effect. June was the odd one out. She hid the change, kept going by John, and couldn’t help but wonder, why her?

She still keeps the note she found in her dad’s wallet, they were the last words he had ever given to her. “Son. If you are reading this, it means you have inherited my wallet. You have truly become an adult man. Wield it with responsibility and integrity. I am so, so proud of you.” She reads it every now and then, feels a bitterness in the back of her throat whenever she sees the word son, feels like she’s going to vomit when she reads man. June doesn’t read it often, but it's always in the back of her mind during the long journey on the ship.

Sometimes, when she reads it right before bed, she cries herself to sleep that night. She wonders what it would be like if her dad was still alive. June likes to think that he would accept her. Call her daughter with the same pride that he called her ‘son’. Even in her fantasies though, she couldn’t help but worry.  
Despite the clowns all over her house, which she now knows was her dad’s way of supporting her, he was extremely serious. Everything about her father, minus the baking, was stereotypically masculine. Like he was molded to be the model depiction of a dad. The serious business, the pipes, the emphasis on clean-shavenness, how every note to June began with son, it was a masculine household.

Being on the boat has given June time to think, and she thinks that her upbringing was the reason why she hated to be thought of as homosexual, her vehement denials. Society taught her homosexuality wasn’t masculine. Even back home, she always fought to be more masculine, although her dad meant the best, he didn’t help the situation at all. As June teetered on the precipice of unconsciousness, she wondered if the universe was laughing at her.

She almost told Jade. Davesprite was out of the question, that was a can of worms June wasn’t ready to open. But, she wasn’t sure what to say either. It was on the tip of her tongue, burning and acidic. Yet, when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. It died before the thought even formed. What would she say? “Hey Jade, I’m biologically female now and I’ve been keeping it a secret for almost three years because I don’t know what the hell is going on and if I’m a girl or not. I think I am but who the fuck knows cause I don’t.” 

Yeah no. If June was going to tell anyone, it wouldn’t be until after she figured out why she changed, and what it actually meant for her. So when she opened her mouth, and Jade looked at her with her head slightly tilted, looking like a confused puppy, what came out wasn’t a coming out. It was “Hey Jade, wanna play Ghostbusters?”

She almost destroyed the note. Or changed it, she wasn’t sure what her goal was. One second she was thinking about the note from her father, unshed tears burning her eyes, the next she was retrieving it from its safe spot with a marker in her hand. She froze, marker a second away from touching the word ‘son’. The marker fell from her hand and the ink stained the floor where it fell. June clenched her fists, nearly crumpling the note. She stopped, put it back to its secluded spot, curled up on the floor and cried. The stain had expanded and couldn’t be scrubbed away when she was done.

When she was trapped inside the juju, June had even more time to think. There was no distracting herself with consorts, shitty video games, or Jade’s failed relationship with Davesprite. Sure, her friends were right nearby, but talking was a hassle as it always required shouting. Sometimes, her throat got too raw trying to talk that she just gave up. She felt more alone now, even with all her friends in reach, than she ever did.

It took a lot of thinking, hell, she probably spent more time thinking through the whole gender thing than catching up with her friends or thinking about her depression. That was a hard one to come to terms with, even harder to say out loud to her friends, but they were supportive enough. June only hoped that when the time came for her to come out that they were still as supportive. If she lost the only people that she’s had for this long… She didn’t want to think about it, it made her feel sick.

She had a lot of time to think about the game, about ascension. She had heard once that a person’s god tier was who they were supposed to be, their ultimate goal, what they were supposed to work towards. She didn’t want to believe it at the time, refused to think that being a girl was really her. It must have been a mistake. She was a boy, her dad’s son, the real man that he was so proud of at the very end.  
When she finally realized that the game hadn’t made a mistake, that this was who she was meant to be, it was when she was curled in a ball, sitting in a corner of the vast white void she was trapped in. She had spent so long trying to ignore it, to try and hide that she was a girl. The words came out in a shaky puff of air.

“I… I am t-trans. I’m a girl.” Despite knowing that her friends couldn’t hear her, the panic was immense. June waited, frozen in fear, wondering if mocking laughter or the sounds of disgust would come from the directions where her friends were trapped. Yet, none came. June wanted to cry. This was the first time she really accepted this as truth.

“I am a girl,” she said again, voice slightly louder. It was still too quiet to be heard, she wasn’t ready for that yet. A smile came across her face. She said it again. “I’m a girl.” She didn’t know if it was her imagination, but her voice seemed to be at a higher pitch than usual. She kept repeating the same thing until her throat went hoarse.

When her voice recovered, she was going to try out names. June sounded nice, but she would have to test it out for herself first.

When she and her friends were released from the juju it was a whirlwind of activity. First, there was fighting, then meeting and catching up with friends, then the establishment of Earth C. The whole process was one thing after another, going by so fast, but so slow. It felt like an eternity before June was able to finally sit down in her house with some time to herself.

The first thing she did was find the note a frame. She made sure it wasn’t too wrinkled, she had tried her best to keep it that way but it was difficult through everything that happened. She put it in the frame and, standing back to admire her work, cried. The salt from her tears dirtied her glasses. June took the note in its frame and found a hiding spot for it. Maybe one day she’d be able to display it proudly, but today was not that day.  
More importantly, she had to figure out how to come out to her friends. 

Coming out was the scariest thing June had ever done. Sure, she’d died multiple times, faced the death of her friends and family, gotten into numerous battles with opponents far stronger than her, and then feared that she’d be trapped for eternity in the white void of the juju, but all of those had nothing on this.  
She actually had planned how she was going to come out for months. Every detail had to be perfect, she even had a whole speech memorized. So when, at their monthly dinner, it came tumbling out of her mouth like a waterfall, she was the most surprised.

“I’m trans! I’m a girl, and I want you all to call me June.” Her own voice shocked her with how loud it was. Every head turned towards her, and conversation stopped. There was a brief moment that lasted an eternity as sweat trickled down her spine and she felt like she was going to throw up. Dave, surprisingly, was the first to break the silence.

“June? Awesome.” He nodded, in that cool guy sort of way, where they just acknowledge what has been said without showing any other emotion. God, he was such a dork. But those two little words were enough to break the silence. Everyone else had smiles on their face, several surrounded June, giving her hugs and congratulations. Someone said “Thanks for telling us,” but June wasn’t sure who it was. She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and cried surrounded by the friends that loved her so much.

After June came out, life returned to almost as normal as it can get on Earth C. Almost. There was still one thing that kept her life from being normal. She hadn't looked at the note since she hid it, but now that she was out to her friends, it had come back to her mind. June pulled it out of its hiding spot, hating the way that she still came back to it.

She tried to tell herself it was natural. Her father was the only person she interacted with in-person and there was so much about him that she didn't know and could never know. She wished he was alive longer, but at the same time, she didn't want to know if he would be disappointed with who she had become.  
She sat on her bed, the note in her hand, and just stared at it. She wasn't even reading it, just looking. She was too tired to cry. The bitterness in the back of her throat was the only thing she felt. It wasn't until a voice came from the now open door to her room that she snapped out of her reverie.

"Hey June, I tried knocking but you didn't answer. You alright?" It was Jade. Her technically-sister and best friend. June let out a half-hearted reply that she was totally fine. Jade didn't buy it for a second. She sat down next to June, who belatedly realized she should hide the note. But by the time the thought had crossed her mind, it was too late, Jade had definitely seen it, and scrambling to hide it would cause more questions that June didn't know if she could answer.

"Is that from your dad," Jade asked.

"Yeah," the word came out like a croak. Jade didn't respond. She sat next to June, leaning on her shoulder, she said nothing. June was frozen, it felt like she couldn't move. She wanted to push Jade away, smash the frame that held the note and tear the damn thing to shreds. She wanted to cry, to rage and scream. Most importantly, she wanted to yell up into the air, as if her dad could hear, and ask if he was still proud. June did none of those things, so she just sat.

After a little while, Jade slowly sat up and got off of June's bed, as if moving too quickly would startle the other girl. June barely registered it when Jade left, but as soon as the door closed, the tears finally came.

It wasn't her birthday or Christmas or some weird troll holiday, but Jade had messaged June saying she and the others had a surprise for her. June was curious, the events from a few weeks before were out of her mind completely, that is, until Jade sent another text.

"bring that note from your dad!!! trust me :B"

June felt her heart sink. Why would Jade bring that up? She sent it in the group chat, did everyone else know? Were they actually pretending to be supportive and now they were going to point at the note and laugh at June? June tried not to think that, but it kept coming back into her mind as she approached their meeting spot.

As June opened the door, anxiety causing sweat to form on her brow, she was greeted not with mocking derision, but with friendly smiles.  
Jade shuffled to the front of the group, she held something behind her back. Her ears were pointed backwards and she didn't look at June. She seemed.. Embarrassed?

"So! Uh, you're probably wondering why I asked you to bring that," she nodded to June, signalling the note in its frame. Jade let out a little bark, she did that more when she was nervous.

"Well, I noticed how you stared at it and I think I figured out why it bothered you." Another bark. "So, I asked for everyone's cooperation, and," Bark, she paused. "We made you this." Jade held out a small frame to June.

June hesitantly stepped forward to grab it. It was a note, on a piece of paper nearly identical in size to the one from her dad, in the same font as well.

"June," it read. "If you are reading this, it means you have overcome great adversity. You have truly become the woman you have meant to be. Live your life with responsibility and integrity. We are so, so proud of you." Then it was signed in all the different colors and signatures of her friends.

It took June a minute of reading this new note to comprehend it fully. June, careful not to damage the new note, lunged forward to envelop Jade in a breath-stealing hug.

"Thank you," she whispered. Over and over as the rest of her friends gathered around her, their arms and heat surrounding her in a massive group hug. For once, she didn't feel like crying.

Later, the note would inhabit the same frame as the first, and both would be hung prominently in June's house, for herself and others to see.


End file.
